IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
