Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
