So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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