Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Panties = found
Randomize
