Please, let me fuck your mom
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
