my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
there was a trapeze. enough said
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
