I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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