i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it was like eating out sand paper
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
