you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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