Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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