dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
