I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
