I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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