I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
