Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
