Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
