you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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