Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
