you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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