I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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