Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
