suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
