I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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