Dual....:-)
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I currently don't understand fingers.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
