If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
