Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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