Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
