In the future we'll all be gay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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