My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
