its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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