im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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