Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
