bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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