People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
