Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
