i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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