In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
