she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The Olympian is in my bed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize