Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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