matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize