'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
