is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
