She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
