I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
a search helicopter?!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
