i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
