you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
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You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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