I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize