why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
