My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
