Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
