I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
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All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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