Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
