So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
