Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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