It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
