Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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